This post is to acknowledge hereby the truth of the fact that Groupon has raised a bunch of money. It feels like it’s taken ages, but my original fake plan is progressing swimmingly.
So what are we going to do with the money?
- Hire a full-time conductor so we can nail the four part harmony on next year’s Christmas card
- Invest in fabricating videos that are even more slanderous than this one so we actually win some awards next year
- Donate more money to Groupon Addiction Awareness (are you among us? Call our automated hotline for help: (312) 673-1515)
- New commercials will have more fireworks
- Relocate our 120 employees to San Francisco
- Rent a monkey for the 40 million Americans currently going without
- Hiring people (seriously!)
Today's Deal on 
Jenny
onDecember 2, 2009 10:51 am
Congratulations, Groupon and Andrew!
Carmen Krushas
onDecember 2, 2009 5:13 pm
so happy to read of the success you guys are enjoying! Wailin really nailed the story! GREAT JOB! Things are really taking off for you all! Super impressive. This type of app really makes sense with our new economy. Go for it!
Carmen
MMMM..donuts!
onDecember 3, 2009 12:33 pm
Please send Monkey soonest! Winters coming and monkey can help kids with hamster wheel for heat!
celeste morawski
onDecember 8, 2009 8:53 am
I just got charged $175.00 for an order i canceled last nite. Groupon dose not reply to e-mails and has no customer service. You can only leave messages and hope yopu are called back. I’m ou $175 for groupons I have no intention of using. What a scam.
Debra Van Tongeren
onDecember 8, 2009 10:17 am
Think about splitting Los Angeles into two WESTSIDE GROUPONS and Valley Groupons please.
(A great way to buy two different groupons each day. Also please confirm who you referred and bought so that we can stop bugging people who have already bought and joined the GROUPON Bandwagon!
Sponsor in each city one charity a week!
james marlow
onDecember 10, 2009 12:41 am
More Monkies!!
james marlow
onDecember 10, 2009 12:42 am
More Monkies!
John Sullivan
onDecember 14, 2009 3:42 pm
I just signed up for your site and thinks it’s pretty cool and has all the makings for a success. If I was you I’d hire someone like me so you’d have an unfair advantage
Is there a program where we can solicit owners to add coupons and we make them, etc then get a percentage. I see my city where I live 
San Antonio is rather barren.I have reached out to some businesses here but most don’t get it I think your site would be a great tool for everyone to benefit.
Look me up if you want my blog is do follow and the site works great nice work 
Peace thanks